9.23.2006

The New Office Slang

I worked all day (Yes on P6!) (if you refresh that page, the pictures change. Very cool.), so I've got nothing. I'll leave you with the New Office Slang (which I found here, and um, borrowed from here.) Enjoy.

404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Matt. He’s our alpha geek.”

Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in “she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling”

Beepilepsy - The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!” (Synonym: “Head Crash”)

Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.

Elvis Year - The peak year of popularity as in “1993 was Barney the dinosaur’s Elvis year” (This one's for Wenona. A true Elvis fan.)

Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

It’s a Feature - From the old adage, “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Oh, yeah - it works too.)

Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.

Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. “There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”

Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”

Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.

WOOFYS - Well Off Older Folks.


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